2008-06-20
-
Ok, so this entry serves as a warning to all the girls out there who have ever considered getting a bikini wax: DON'T.
Today I decided to man up and just go to the salon and get a wax. I'm going to the beach soon and I don't want to deal with shaving all the time so I just said fuck it, I'll take the leap and get it waxed. I show up at the salon and ask if they do bikini waxes. The lady said yes and asked me if I would like a regular or a brizillian. Being the fucking idiot that I am, I reply "Brazillian!" I figured hell, I'm here, I might as well wax the whole god damn thing.
Anyways, I'm ushered to the back of the salon and into a room labeled "waxing room". At this point, I'm pretty nervous but I figure I can get through it.
I lay down on a paper covered bed and the asian lady gets down to business and fucking rips my underwear off. Before I know it she's putting all sorts of scalding hot wax in areas that should never be touched by anything that temperature. I try to relax as she pulls off the first strip. Before I know it I'm literally screaming "HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHIT" at the top of my lungs. At the halfway point, I was in so much pain I was laughing like Cruella Deville everytime she pulled another strip off. Finally, she put the wax away. 'Sweet relief!' I thought. WRONG.
SHE.PULLED.OUT.A.PAIR.OF.FUCKING.TWEEZERS.
THIS WOMAN IS PLUCKING, yes PLUCKING, MY VAJAY JAY.
As if waxing wasn't enough...she decided to go the extra mile and centralize all the pain I was previously feeling by pulling hairs out individually.
Listen, it's not worth it. Whatever woes you have shaving multiply that by 2 million and that's what bikini waxing is... at least brazillions. DON'T GET A BRAZILLION.
Probably an overshare but the world needs to know.
jesushomeboy at 5:32 p.m.